A lot of people mark their aging by their wrinkles, gray hairs, and the magnification power of their reading glasses . Others may count those extra pounds sneaking in on the “old age” places (hips on the ladies, beer gut on the boys) or the number of nose, ear and back hairs that have appeared. Or maybe you like to reflect on how impossible it feels to get up and going on a cold morning with your achey-breaky body.
Not me. No sirey. I have my own special sign of aging and now that I’m starting to see it, I’m fa-reaking out. With a capitol FA. My signs? Celebrities of my youth going down hill in a visually unappealing sense.
Of course, it doesn’t help that I got a 50-inch high definition TV lately. Nothing makes Mel Gibson look ridden hard and put away wet more than 50-inches of high def pixel action. Well, except maybe 60 inches or more. DANG! When did those sexy baby blues start going gray?
To be honest, I used to tell people that I’d not feel old until Mel died of old age. Now that his true colors are showing I’m embarrassed to say I base anything on him, but purely looks wise, he was one handsome dude, even if it was only skin deep. Maybe karma will get him sooner rather than later and I’ll never have to say I’m old. But as his once handsome face moves south, I’m noticing some other sad signs out there in Hollywood. Usually I’ll think, ‘wow, time’s not been nice to him/her.’ Like Luke Wilson. So many AT&T ads to highlight his extra pounds. Not good. Then it hit me.
Earlier this week I saw “Yes Man” on HBO HD. Jim Carrey is always entertaining and I was in the mood for some of his style. I feel some kind of odd connection with him, having been there to see “Earth Girls are Easy” when it came out and been parked in front of the TV in college the day “In Living Color” premiered. I was there when he was James Carrey.
Yet, I’m here to tell you that 50 inches of HD is not kind to this great funny man. Those deep brown eyes are the same, but, while pulling faces won’t make your face stay that way, it sure will kill the elasticity in your face. Let that be a lesson to you kids!
I found myself sitting on the couch feeling profoundly depressed over this. Now, if anyone can afford plastic surgery, I’m sure he can. I’m however, not sure it’s best for his trade – can you make faces if you can’t feel your face? But, more than that, it emphasized my age. In my mind, he’s always looked so young. To see him looking like he’s pushing 50, which in all honesty he is, made me wonder “where the hell did the time go?”
So to make myself feel better, I thought of William Shatner. The original Star Trek was done by the time I was born. He looked different when the first movie came out, but since that time he hasn’t changed much. So he’s looked the same most of my life. See, all better.
Maybe there is a lesson here. I’m sure there is one. I’m just not sure if it is a) to only watch surgically corrected actors or. b), to only use the 50-inch HD TV to play Wii Fit.
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