Potty Training Update

by Heligirl on March 1, 2010

in Parenting Tidbits,Potty Training

A long time ago in a house just over yonder, Jen had visions of no more diapers, at least on her little girl. With each bi-weekly Costco trip her eyes would pop at the cost of diapers and wipes as she stopped calculating the cost of diapers in lattes and started counting them in blu-ray DVDs (two size 5 diapers cost three DVDs).

Then suddenly, the little cuteness and love of Mommy’s life started making suggestions that she again wanted to try to use the potty. “Praise God, Budda and/or Allah,” our enduring hero shouted as she happily ripped the diaper from the little cherub’s tushy and plopped her onto her little girl potty.

But alas, nothing left the child’s body despite her eagerness to sit there for long periods of time demanding a repeat read of “Elmo Can Use the Potty.” Our hero perused websites and read books, looking for that ideal tidbit of advice that might lead to the illumination of her little girl’s mental light bulb. A couple of sources suggested dumping out the diaper into the toilet to show where the poo is supposed to go then let the child flush. “Worth a shot,” our intrepid mommy thought. Little Sweetness found this new development very interesting and immediately began announcing “use the potty” after every poo. AFTER every poo, so she could watch mommy take off the diaper and dump it into the toilet.

“I don’t think so,” our slightly steamed starlet fumed after a week of this messy madness. And she stopped this action much to the disappointment of Her Highness, who now, incidentally, announces “go potty” then the minute mommy takes off the diaper and sees it’s already full, Sweetness throws herself, poopy butt and all, onto the bathroom floor screaming “in the toilet!!” as she points to the diaper. As if that will make mommy want to play along. Yet mommy knows the only way Sweetness will get into this is if mommy acts like there is no pressure and it’s no big deal. Mommy is cursing herself for forgetting to put tonic water on the shopping list. No G&T for mommy tonight.

Fear not. Our heroic heroine is somehow gleaming comfort in the fact that Sweetness will indeed learn this skill before high school, right about the time blu-rays become obsolete. So, in the end, Sweetness is really just saving mommy from buying all her movies again. Really.

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