The Big, Very Hard, Day

by Heligirl on March 27, 2010

in Daily Ramblings

So I finally broke down and decided to have the garage sale. I need the room and keeping all this baby stuff isn’t keeping the kids babies, no matter how hard I try. So I posted my ads on Craig’s List and the West Seattle Blog for a baby and toddler gear sale. I took the box cutter to two boxes of diapers and painted the pieces of cardboard with signs to post in the neighborhood with the only paint I could find – drywall paint. Seems to be doing the trick. Then I set about putting prices on things.

I can’t begin to tell you how hard that was. And I’m not talking about going online to see what similar things were going for. I’m talking about the emotional toll. As I put the pricetag on the swing, all these memories came flooding back about how I put that thing together the first time when I was 9 months pregnant with Sweetness, how she used it as her bed those first few months. The tears started flowing. The breast feeding pillows were hard too – memories of all those hours together in that special bond you only get with your babies for such a short time. As I put the bouncer cover back on after carefully washing it, memories of registering for it then getting it at my first baby shower – a gift from my dear Seattle Whirly-girlfriend Lisa, flooded back, along with all the sweet memories of those last few weeks of total anticiaption for the birth of your first baby. I wanted to be a mommy for so freaking long, and once you get pregnant life suddenly speeds up, making Warp 10 look like molasses. Wasn’t it just yesterday I was longing to hold a baby and now I have a toddler and a very soon to be toddler? All those years of buying baby stuff for other people and my time with the baby stuff seems like it was so very, very short. This crap, my friends, is what hormones do to you. My breastfeeding days are numbered. I’ll maybe be able to make it to May, Mr. Man’s one-year birthday. The hormones are dying off and the thought of breastfeeding being gone forever, on top of all these adorable little baby things is just so hard. Oh crap, I’m crying again…

But the absolutely worst part of all was sorting the clothes into bins based on size. It took me two beers to do it. Memories of my babies in these adorable outfits were almost too much to bear. When I told my hubby that $1 a piece just seemed so cheap.

“People aren’t going to pay for memories,” he replied. You can always depend on a man to fully understand and be empathetic, can’t you.

I didn’t sleep well last night, tossing and turning. I drempt that I sold my house and couldn’t find a new one and had to live on the street. I drempt Johnny Depp was over and trying to keep me up all night by jumping on my bed (I can think of better ways to be up with Johnny all night, by the way). I drempt I forgot to have the garage sale and was suddenly relieved. I think I have real problems with being attached to material things. My memories and tons of photos are more than enough to cherish those fleeting baby years.

Ok, I’m just making myself cry again. I’ve cried five times alone while writing this. The people coming to the sale will think I’m totally psycho. Hey, come see the psycho lady, she’ll cry as you buy her stuff. The show’s free, though.

{ 1 comment }

Seana Barker March 27, 2010 at 7:05 am

Heligirl, my teenage neice is expecting in May and could use any leftovers from your sale if you want to donate. Let me knos and I’ll come pick them up. Thanks.

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