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Suck Up and Sell

Mar 9th, 2010 by Heligirl | Comment Here »

Lots o' crap

OK, so it's not this bad, but you get the idea.

The other day I took a long look at my little house that is feeling so crowded. Yes, I’ve gone from me, two Chihuahuas and a cat to me, hubby, two kids and added hubby’s two cats. But we also added a bathroom and pushed the master bedroom out adding half as much more space to that room. But still, I am feeling crowded. Yet it doesn’t take Ty Pennington and the team from Extreme Makeover to point out my unique home style – decor by Fisher Price – may be the culprit.

In the living room/dining room area alone I have an infant swing (not used in weeks), box of toys, art easel, exersaucer, Johnny Jump Up, Boppy, Breastfriend, play kitchen with associated crap, and two dinning room chairs used for kids (one with a space saver infant chair ( it can’t fit up to the table) and one with a booster). That’s not counting what Sweetness could drag out of her room at any moment, which typically could be – train set, stroller with dolly, various vehicles, and riding toys. Oh the humanity of my little ranch. I need a family room.

Then there is the stuff piling up in the garage – two strollers, infant car seat with two bases, infant bouncer seat, shopping cart seat cover, Baby Bjorn, infant floor gym, and a diaper pail.

Part of me is screaming “GARAGE SALE!!” I’m thinking of the money I can make off this and perhaps have the vacation my doggy’s surgery took from the budget. Or, I could use the cash to buy the next batch of crap the kids will need. My garage would have more space and a corner of my living room where the swing sits.

Then the hormones grab me by the throat and throttle me like a wet doll. “These are the precious little things people gave you for baby showers and that you bought in extreme excitement for your babies’ arrivals. Selling them off is getting rid of memories. You’ll never have any more babies,” the evil hormones say. Then I get all nostalgic to the point where I actually played the music on the gym one last time, even though the batteries were dying and it sounded terrible.

I know this is all so very stupid. What am I going to do, save all this crap forever? My mom saved some stuff, claiming I could use it, or she could with my kids when they came over. Guess what, I never did, and neither did she. Can’t use that excuse for my kids. There are people out there that can’t afford brand new stuff and could use my well cared for stuff, before it is obsolete or beyond it’s use-by date (in the case of the car seat).

I know that when the time comes for this stuff to really leave, I will cry really hard as it walks away. I spent so many years wanting to be a mommy. I knew I wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl (even chose the name of my daughter when I was 12) and was really feeling the urge for 10 years before Sweetness was born. All those years and the trappings of those precious infant months are in your life for such a short time.

You know, I might just have to suck it up. And by suck it up, I mean leave the hubby to sell off the stuff while I hide in the back room/take the kids to grandma’s for the day/drink myself into oblivion.

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Posted in Daily Ramblings

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I Dream of Sleep

Mar 8th, 2010 by Heligirl | Comment Here »

Sweetness was a handful in her infancy. She screamed at just the right volume and pitch to cause dog and human alike to surrender to anything or anyone. In fact, we could have rented her out to interrogate terrorists. No one would have been able to resist. Hey, they could have recorded her more famous episodes and played them over a loud speaker in Iraq and immediately won any confrontation. Oh well, the best ideas do come after the fact, don’t they?

Well, for all her drama there was one thing she did well, and that was sleep. Cuteness was pulling 9 hour snoozes at 3 months. She was up to 12 by 9 months. Maybe she just wore herself out with all that screaming.

I wish she’d share her sleep secret with her brother. Well, as long as that secret isn’t to wear your self out by screaming all day. Mr. Man is three days from 10 months and he still can’t sleep through the night. We’re up two, sometimes three times a night and we’re EXHAUSTED! Especially now with my little poochie needing 45 minutes of my undivided attention in the mornings for monitored bathroom time, assistance in eating, physical therapy, drug administration, and physical therapy. That’s all in addition to me showering, dressing, putting on makeup, pumping milk for Mr. Man, having breakfast and cleaning up. Needless to say, I’m getting up earlier.

Last night our little bouncing baby boy was up at 1:30 am, 3:40 am and 5:30 am. I know my hubby fed him the first time. So when he woke screaming the second time I knew he couldn’t be hungry. He had his binkie so I just rubbed his tummy and turned on his music box. He cried out when I left, but passed back out. He woke with a cry at 5:30 when I was working with Daggett, but he put himself back to sleep.

As much as I’d like to do the old “cry it out” thing, the dude is sucking down 8 ounces of milk the first time he wakes, despite going to bed with a full tummy. He’s honestly hungry. They say this too shall pass, but it sure as hell better hurry up. Doesn’t the little man understand that mommy looks older when she’s not sleeping as much as she needs too?

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Posted in Daily Ramblings, Parenting Tidbits

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My Cup Runneth Over

Mar 7th, 2010 by Heligirl | Comment Here »

Tantrums are often the result of a culmination of hurts that finally run over.

Have you ever had one of those days when the seemly smallest little thing suddenly turns your little cherub into passionate flailing, boneless, and red-faced inconsolable terror? There’s an explanation that really makes handling these episodes much easier, if only from an understanding perspective.

Pam Leo in her book Connection Parenting talks about tantrums in such a clear and concise way that it’s hard to misunderstand how some of these little (or in my case, hurricane force) storms seem to come without much warning.

Think of the child having a cup to store all of the day’s emotional hurts, Leo says. Every time the child feels hurt, another drop goes into the cup.  Then, that last drop, no matter how small, runs the cup over and the child needs to have emotional release of all the hurts. It’s important to understand they MUST have that release, otherwise these hurts are stored up and remain unhealed. Helping them to learn to safely express and then heal from emotional hurts is a big part of our job as parents and goes a long way toward helping build strong self esteem.

Sweetness, for instance, could be let down that she didn’t get the cereal she wanted for breakfast because we were out, then had to endure her brother playing with her car until he was finished, had to wear a hat outside even though she didn’t want to, wasn’t allowed to watch TV when she asked (even though she knew she wouldn’t), and wanted to go to the playground, but couldn’t because it was pouring outside. Then when Mommy suggest an art project and got everything ready, Sweetness had a complete and total meltdown because Mommy handed her a paintbrush, rather than letting her choose one herself.

At this point it’s so easy for the parent to lose it too and proclaim something like “there’s nothing to be upset about,” “do you need a time out?”, “so you don’t want to play, OK I’ll put it away,” “I’ll give you something to cry about,” etc. All of these things send a message that it’s not OK to express feelings. The response Leo emphasizes focuses on reconnecting with your little one by listening and expressing empathy for not only the little hurt that might have caused the tantrum, but the day’s hurts. Granted, you may not know what they all were. In fact, many little ones store it all up, especially when they’re away from home at school, daycare, at Grandma’s, etc. then let loose when they get home because they feel safe to express feelings at home. Some even go as far to provoke a hurt so they can let loose once they get home. Believe it or not, this is actually a good sign. Your child feels safe with you.

Regardless of what others may say, you can’t stop tantrums from happening. But, as I’ve experienced using Leo’s advice, you can sure reduce them and even shorten their length. In the example with Sweetness, I took her aside where she couldn’t dump the paint or knock over the easel and got down on the floor with her. At that point I talked in a calming voice to her to 1. acknowledge her feelings, 2. assure her they were normal, even if scary (these massive releases are scary to the kids), 3. Help give her a name for what she’s feeling, and most importantly, 4. Listen. “You sure are upset. Those are some big feelings. You wanted to pick out a brush to paint with and it upset you when I offered you one, didn’t it? It’s OK to have these big feelings.” At Sweetness’s age, it is useless to suggest other ways for her to get her anger out when she’s in the middle of a tantrum. We work on that when she’s calm. During the tantrum I can sometimes just rub her back. Other times she doesn’t want me touching her. So I just sit with her and tell her I’m right here and that I love her. When she’s having a real doozie and my talking only makes her scream louder, I tell her it looks like she needs some space to let out her feelings, so I’ll be on the couch, in the kitchen, right over here, what have you. If she’s in her room, I try not to close the door and isolate her. While having some peace helps her, I have to be careful not to send the message that feelings must be let out in isolation and I can’t be bothered with them.

Regardless of how the current tantrum is going, I tell her it’s ok to let the hurt feelings out so she can feel better. That is a concept she understands – butt cream makes the butt feel better (her words!), drinking milk when a bite is too hot makes her mouth feel better, so crying out hurt feelings makes her feel better. Once she gets past the worst part, she’ll sometimes talk to me, saying she was upset over this or that.

Lately, I’ve noticed she’s starting to recognize other hurts released. While a tantrum might have been set off by me not letting her pick a diaper, she’ll say in a post-tantrum sniffle something about baby brother having her truck. This helped me see that Leo was dead on and I am helping my little one by letting her release those hurt feelings then talk them out with me. As she gets older, we’ll talk more after outbursts, but now it’s enough for her to have me just listen, connect and be there.

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Post Puppy Patella and Pooper Preforations

Mar 5th, 2010 by Heligirl | Comment Here »

I’m an anxious puppy mommy. My little ball of fuzz, my youngest little Chihuahua, Daggett, is having kneecap and butt surgery today. And no, they’re not related. How could you ask such a thing? Is your knee connected to your butt?

My little bundle of energy and puppy kisses popped his right kneecap out in November. He was in miserable pain and despite vet attempts to put it back in, it just slides out. I heard the pop when it came out and I figured he’d damaged the joint, taking out some cartilage that was keeping the patella, or kneecap, in place. In time he healed enough to where he used his leg again, but gingerly (unless there was a squirrel involved, then all bets were off and full leg usage was deployed).

About the time my vet convinced me that we needed to do a little surgical procedure to cut the groove the kneecap goes into a little deeper to help correct the damage (and help assure the little guy would not have debilitating arthritis in his older years), we had another issue. Daggett’s butt swelled up and exploded. In other words, one of his anal glands burst from an infection. He had this back in 2007 with the other gland. This hurts, is quite messy, and is expensive.

So with my Dagger Waggers already going under the knife and a load of the good drugs already lined up with his name on it, we decided to just have those offending glands removed to avoid future painful, bed-staining, cone-of-shame wearing, expensive episodes.

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Posted in Daily Ramblings, Poochies

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Organically Yummy

Mar 4th, 2010 by Heligirl | Comment Here »

Fresh Organic Produce

Fresh organic produce delivered to your door. Yummy!

In my ever busy attempt to find ways to introduce my children, and let’s face it, my burger, beer and fries loving Hubby, to the world of different foods, I signed up to receive a box of fresh organic fruits and vegetables every other week. My first thought: it never hurts to be more healthy and I like the idea of putting organic food into my babies. My second thought: I wonder if I really can get Hubby’s cholesterol down 50 points if I get reeeeally creative with unprocessed food to the point where he’ll prefer it. You can’t hear me, but know I’m laughing really hard right now.

I’d heard of this service in the Seattle area by Full Circle Farm just after Sweetness was born. I signed up about the time she hit six months, when she started solid food. I was a good little mommy. My box would come and I’d steam, puree, poor into ice cube trays, and freeze the wholesome goodness for my precious. Then as she got old enough to eat things straight, I’d leave out the puree step and serve the produce either raw (like lettuce and fruits) or steamed, or in the case of potatoes, baked.

Then I got pregnant. Picking up a box every other week from a drop spot (someone’s front porch) was getting MIGHTY old. And I didn’t have the time to plan meals. I was puking for God’s sake. Not even fresh, organic mangos sounded good. So I canceled.

Then, this nice little e-mail comes from the farm last month: “We’ve started home delivery!” Mr. Man is now on solid food and, while he hasn’t said as much, he might not be that into just peas, carrots, sweet potatoes or jar food (because I’m just not that creative and kind of need to be pushed in the food prep department). I signed back up. Now I get a box of a whole variety of fruits and vegis waiting on my doorstep when I rise every other Wednesday. (That’s the box arriving every other Wednesday, not me rising every other Wednesday.)

I can’t say enough about this service. The food is very fresh and tasty. A lot of it is grown right here in our county. You get an e-mail telling you what’s coming on Friday and you have until Sunday to log on to the website and switch out things if you prefer. I do that part Friday, menu plan and shop for the rest of my stuff over the weekend, and my box of wholesome yumminess is delivered Wednesday morning by “courteous and quiet drivers.” Which is a good thing, because that box has been there at 6 am every morning and I never knew anyone had been in the yard.

So I spent about an hour yesterday steaming, pureeing and freezing zucchini, apples, pears, mango and carrots. Then we had yummy brazed beef and root vegis (baked dish with beef, carrots, parsnips, potatoes and chicken broth) which we could puree for little man after we three had had our share.  One day’s work is at least two weeks of meals for his chunkiness. The best part, no mommy guilt for copping out and making mac and cheese for us and pre-packaged baby food for Mr. Man.

There are a lot of these great services all over the place. Google “community supported agriculture” or “CSA” and your city. I bet you’ll find one close by!

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