A virtually unlimited source of gut splitting stories that I must warn you can cause you to leak a bit, are my two kids. Now, despite my somewhat rough exterior and tomboy ways, I have always dreamed of having kids. I just was never ready, until I hit my mid-30s. Then the prospect of being 60 and still having kids in college started to haunt me so, voila, here they are.

My daughter entered our lives in September 2007. I refer to her as Sweetness, Cuteness, Princess Poopy Pants, and other such endearments. No, those are not her names. But I do believe in respecting her privacy because what’s written here is without a doubt incriminating. I’ll save revealing her identity to her friends for a day when I can really use that card. Perhaps – “you even think about touching cigarettes and I’m e-mailing, tweeting and Facebooking all your friends with a link to this site.” We’re going to have such a great relationship when she’s a teen.

My son joined us 20 months later in May 2009 to complete our family. I refer to him as Mr. Man, Handsome Dude, and Little Man, among other things. Again, I’m preserving his identity until a time when it will really come in handy.

Yes, Mommy’s all about the blackmail!