I made a big mistake recently. I decorated the house and started talking about Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving. Parents with older kids, I can see you pointing and laughing. Please stop. I may break down and need to be admitted to the psych ward, so thin is the ice I now tread.
In my defense, my kids were 2 and 4 last year. They just kind of floated along, enjoying the Christmas stuff as it came, entertaining themselves throughout the season. I love getting the house decorated and the tree up. I enjoy the festive atmosphere. Until now.
This year, no such luck. Total and complete pseudo-sugar induced rush 24/7. (I say pseudo, because I’m not giving them enough candy, cookies or anything else that will further deepen this nightmare. I even threw out all their left over Halloween candy.) They’re bouncing off the walls, disobeying at every turn, fighting like the Starks and Lannisters, and asking at least every five minutes “Is tomorrow Christmas yet?”
Case in point, Saturday we started the advent calendar after four days of begging to start it. There was only one tiny piece of chocolate after lunch. Then after naptime, as I was having the kids help me make a batch of gingerbread cookies for their class next week, Mr. Man announces he’s not interested in helping, he’s going to go rest. Stupid me. I believed him.
Twenty minutes later, after the cookies were in the oven, Sweetness and I go into the living room to find her advent calendar mostly open, all candy eaten and Mr. Man claiming he doesn’t know what happened. I found it ironic he had the foresight to eat hers, thus saving his for later.
Note to parents, quiet time for a three year old in his room doesn’t work with 2 ounces of chocolate onboard.
While this frustrated me (both the lying and my type-A desire to share the daily advent calendar opening with both kids), it was a drop in the bucket. I actually reached tipping point mid-last week when the disobedience reached and all time high (since surpassed by the way). While I did think it would be fun to start a new Christmas tradition and do Elf on the Shelf, I bought that freaking toy to assist me in coercion.
“You hit your brother in front of the elf. She’s going to tell Santa.”
For the record, the Elf, aka Heart, sat on the Christmas tree and watched my little glutton stuff himself with chocolate. Sweetness assured him Santa was now not bringing him any presents now. In fact, I think they’re both convinced they’re getting nothing, and at the same time, everything they’ve seen advertised on TV. Would it be wrong to suggest Santa comes and takes toys away from naughty kids?
I’ll be reading Lama Lama Holiday Drama each night at story time in hopes maybe that will sink in. That and getting a prescription to Valium. When I call my parents for help and advice they laugh so hard they end up hanging up because they can’t speak through the diaphragm spasms. Odd…