Introducing: My Cabana Boy

This last month has been one for the record books. When I reflect back, there is love, longing, hate, betrayal, envy, drama, anger, passion, pain, tears, laughter, lying and lots of drinking. And those are just the things I’m willing to admit.

Why, it could be a trashy romance novel if spun the right way. (Well, not much in the way of exciting forbidden sex involved in my dramatic month, but don’t let that stop your imagination. Sure hasn’t slowed mine any.) And being that I’m now a spin doctor on the market, what better way to keep my skills fresh and honed than to spin away?

So to honor what I’m telling people is my new job title, “bored, frustrated housewife in search of a cabana boy,” I introduce to you my new pet project for your reading pleasure:

The Cabana Boy Chronicles

It was suggested by one of my now former co-workers that I should get out my frustrations (and not a few fantasies) by chronicling my adventures with my cabana boy (whether real or otherwise).

Now, I must give credit where credit is due. She did come up with the title. And we were torn between that and “The Real Housewives of South King County” (South King County being our redneck part of the woods). Somehow the later  just didn’t have the right ring to it. I’d have to write lines like, “which of my babies are you the father of?” and other such enthralling verbiage.

So the Cabana Boy Chronicles it is. Sounds more intriguing. And with it you can imagine my handsome boy toy, moist with perspiration from the hot afternoon sun, serving me gin and tonics wearing little more than a Hawaiian shirt, unbuttoned of course.

I’m going to have fun finding art to accompany my submissions. But I was rather discouraged when Google search for “cabana boy” returned this little sex pot:

Be afraid people. Be very afraid. Jen is on the loose.

So stop back by tomorrow for the first of what should be many entertaining stories of the adventures of Heligirl and her cabana boy. Rrrrrrrrraawwwwwwwwwwwww.

Oh, and if you stopped by for Mom Tip Monday, I am taking the week off from responsible parenting, as you can tell. New Mom Tip coming next Monday!