Brotherhood of the Machine

by Heligirl on July 14, 2011

in Beyond Mommyhood,Daily Ramblings

Riddle me this.

I have in my possession a brotherhood of sorts. A handful of eclectic items that share a unique experience involving a certain machine.

So, what do a puzzle piece, Lego horse, letter block, plastic onion, Mr. The King, a flight attendant from an airplane/airport toys set and the Transformer Bumblebee have in common?

Answer: They are all members of the Sacred Order of the Whirlpool.


They have in some way or another (most likely the “another” option that includes little hands) found themselves in the laundry basket and a frazzled Mommy tossed the contents into the washer with little attention paid to what was in the machine, most likely because of the screaming/hitting/yelling/crying going on in the background.

The stowaways were then discovered upon being transferred to the dryer.

My real question is how Bumblebee got there. You see, that’s MY toy. He stands guard with his leader on my computer desk. Most likely the little creatures that inhabit my home saw his bright yellow body and were attracted to him like flies to the zapper.

But, imagine an alternate scenario:

Nighttime. Soft snores heard from all rooms. Dog is twitching and barking in his sleep. Suddenly a small cry is heard from the depths of the canvas laundry basket in the female child’s room.

Flight Attendant: Help! Somebody, please, HELP! We’re trapped.

In the dining room, perched on a computer desk, Bumblebee turns toward the sound. A damsel in distress. He must move out, and fast. He jumps off the table and races toward the child’s room. With full bravery and no question of self preservation he scales the dresser next to the laundry bin and sees the source of the noise.

Deep inside the bin a small female toy, her Lego horse, and a block are trapped. Bumblebee jumps in, landing on a pair of ripe socks.

Flight Attendant: My hero!

It is then that Bumblebee realizes that he in fact has no way to scale the walls. So as the brave soldier he is, he suffers the same fate as his damsel in distress, her trusty steed, and their pet block.

The good news is, they’re all no worse for wear and they’re quite clean.


Susan July 14, 2011 at 9:51 am

Ah, the things I’ve washed. Hotwheels cars, paper and coin money, shopping lists, nuts and bolts, a cell phone (that worked after it was dried out), and crayons. The only time there was real damage, was when a purple crayon transferred to the dryer (Dh did that load and didn’t check Little Man’s pants pockets). Purple got all over a handful of items, including a bathroom towel and a fake sheepskin blanket that lives in my car. The towel is now in the rag box. The blanket is in my car, purple flecks and all.
Susan recently posted: A Different Perspective of Death: Pure Alignment in a Moment

Twitter: Heligirl
July 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Oh man, I am afraid of the day I find crayons in the wash. I’m getting much better at checking for stowaways/victims these days. I bet you’re a envy of all the moms with your own custom purple fleck fake sheepskin! 🙂

Twitter: audcole
July 14, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Riddle me this… how do toys also frequently end up in my laundry, yet I have no children? Oh yeah, probably the same way Bumblebee jumped off *your* desk… (By the way, I think your “rescuing the flight attendant” theory is entirely likely!!)

I once found a Superman toy and a pocket knife in the same load. I don’t even want to know what he was fighting. I just hope it was the Sock Monster. And that Superman won. (Which, of course, he would!)

Twitter: Heligirl
July 14, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Oh my God, that’s hilarious. It fully confirms my theory that these things get up and move around when we’re not around. I do hope Superman won against the sock monster. If so, can you send him my way? I’m afraid my Transformers may rebel if I threw them in each week myself in hopes of a winning battle.

SharleneT. July 14, 2011 at 2:51 pm

I totally agree that they move around at night. I saw Toy Story and, believe me, that only touched on the truth. It’s best to sleep with one eye open… My favorite was a flexible black widow spider that my daughter had in her pocket just to “see” what I would do. The little darlin’… The only thing I really don’t like to find is folding money in a tight little wad after going through the dryer…
SharleneT. recently posted: Stuffed Shells a Hit at Midtown Market

Twitter: Heligirl
July 18, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Oh man, I hope my children never get into the spider obsession phase. I may pass out, or have hubby start doing the laundry.

Liz July 14, 2011 at 4:05 pm

I find money ALL the time. Bills, usually. I love it because I get to joke about “laundering” money HAHAHA 😉
Liz recently posted: Messes can be made anywhere…

Twitter: Heligirl
July 18, 2011 at 7:52 pm

OK, that’s funny right there!

MamaSpaghetti July 14, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Haha! I think you’ve got the next Toy Story on your hands.
MamaSpaghetti recently posted: Vote…or my baby will get you with his scary face!

Twitter: Heligirl
July 18, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Possibly. Do you think Hasbro would play nice with Disney for that? Could be a lot of fun!

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