Remember to be Grateful

by Heligirl on March 31, 2011

in Beyond Mommyhood,Daily Ramblings

I feel like a boob. A great. Big. Hairy. Boob.

You might remember I was laid off the beginning of the year, thrust out of my part-time dream job and into the cold, harsh reality of sudden SAHM life as I dealt with the loss of my professional identity and income. It was a nasty couple of months and I struggled to find some form of balance. I complained about my lot in life, feeling like a total failure.

Then today I happen across a post by Lisa (thanks to Shell’s Pour Your Heart Out).

In it, Lisa pours out her heart about how jealous she is of SAHMs. She longs for the opportunities to be there with her kids when they need a hug, hurt themselves, want a story, laugh and play. She wants to be able to take them to the park on a sunny day or run out into the freshly fallen snow.

Instead, she works away from them 9-10 hours a day. It breaks her heart that others are there for her kids during so much of their weekly waking hours. She’s aware it’s a harder job than the old 9-5, but she wishes with all of her heart she could have that harder job.

I have to tell you, Lisa slapped me silly with that post. I feel like a totally idiot for complaining about having the kids underfoot so much.

On the one hand, I’ve always been in the same boat as Lisa. Like her, I don’t want to work full time. I knew it the moment I looked into my little baby girl’s face the first time. But I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming job it was to suddenly be home with the kids full time.

Lisa writes “I am jealous. I am jealous of the fact that your husband makes enough money to allow you to stay home. I am jealous of the fact that you can take your kids to the park on a beautiful day, or go outside and play in freshly fallen snow, or take advantage of the classes the park district offers. I am resentful when I see you post these things on FB, or tell me about it later. I am resentful when you bitch about the wonderful opportunity you have to spend all day with your children.”

I am lucky that we are in a financial position where I don’t have to work full time. In fact, I don’t have to work at all, but I choose to do some freelance in order to keep my skills fresh and my resume complete. I made this decision when we decided not to buy a different house, instead opting to live in the one I bought myself when we got married. We can live on one income if push comes to shove, which it did.

I am lucky that I’m the one the kids cry for. I’m the one that can kiss the tears away, take them to the park, run out in the snow with them, go to storytime at the library, go for a drive into the mountains, participate in their co-op preschools, dance in the living room to Lady GaGa, and visit Toddler Gyms.

Thank you Lisa, for reminding me to quit my bitching and be thankful for all that I’ve been given. I really needed to hear that.

May a balance that meets your needs (financially and personally) soon find your front door.



Lisa March 31, 2011 at 7:17 am

Thanks Jen. 🙂
Lisa recently posted: PYHO Wednesday – Veggies

Twitter: Heligirl
March 31, 2011 at 9:28 am

You’re so welcome. Thank you again, Lisa.

SharleneT. March 31, 2011 at 8:50 am

That’s the beauty of having a business, at home. And, the kids do grow up and start focusing on their own worlds, not wanting you ‘underfoot’ or ‘on the watch’ all the time. So, keep working at your at-home business and it will grow, giving you best of both worlds. I fluked into mine from a horrific auto accident that kept me immobile for half a year, giving me plenty of time to review my options.

From that point forward, I took classes and was finally able to open my own business — and, be with my girls! It’s worth the struggle. It really is.
SharleneT. recently posted: Stuffed Chicken Thighs- Penne Pasta &amp Red Bell Pepper-Tomato Sauce

Twitter: Heligirl
March 31, 2011 at 9:29 am

Thanks Sharlene. I’m feeling more patient and positive about the future now. Sometimes it does take a kick in the butt to take a step forward, doesn’t it. 🙂

Melissa {adventuroo} March 31, 2011 at 9:45 am

I needed to read this today! While I’ve been freelancing so the kids are away two days/week SOME weeks (when I have work), I was having days when 6:00pm couldn’t come fast enough. But I am so DANG grateful that we’re making this work because I realized I missed so many things working FT before Little Roo was born. Grateful to now have the chance to work some and play some. I just love all the moments I’m experiencing with them.

Twitter: Heligirl
March 31, 2011 at 5:57 pm

It’s certainly taking a lot of time, patience and self forgiveness to get used to, that is for sure. I still have those days like you, counting the minutes until relief arrives. Those special moments are certainly special and I too am so grateful to be there for them. 🙂

Shell March 31, 2011 at 12:45 pm

I think it might be a case of the grass appearing greener, too. There are some things that I envy about working moms(work outside of the home moms).

Motherhood- no matter where we work or if we do…can be hard.

Twitter: Heligirl
March 31, 2011 at 5:55 pm

I hear you. I know that certainly plays a big part. I loved having a foot in each world by working part time out of the house. 🙂

Susan March 31, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Practicing being grateful for what we have is always a good habit to get into. A few things you refer to as being lucky are not necessarily luck, but calculated planning- being able to survive on one income because you stayed in your house. You made some smart decisions so that if this or if that happens, you and your family will still be ok. So, don’t be so hard on yourself, and keep practicing gratitude!

Twitter: Heligirl
March 31, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Oh Susan, you are such a wise and wonderful friend. Thank you so very much. Yes, preparation really balances your scale in the good luck category. Thanks again.

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