I’m Dying Here

by Heligirl on October 4, 2011

in Beyond Mommyhood

I’m not trying to kill myself. Really, I’m not. But my body seems to think I have other intentions.

After spraining my hip last week on the slick preschool floor, I’ve been in a race against time to get better. I’m sitting on ice, popping my oxycodone, resting as much as physically possible with two children running around the house, and feeling extremely guilty about my inability to help my hubby do the daily chores.

But, alas, it is not meant to be.

I drug myself to work yesterday and it suddenly became very apparent to me just how much I do in the morning: get up, shower, dressed, put on makeup, make breakfast, make my decaf pumpkin spice latte, eat breakfast, pack lunches, get kids teeth brushed (hubby got them up, dressed and fed), get kids shoes and coats on, get everyone in the car, drive 45 minutes in traffic, get kids and their stuff out of the car, walk to each kids’ classroom, take out lunches and put in the fridges, get kids to put their stuff in their cubbies and wash their hands, go back to the car, drive to my office, get out, walk across the lot, down stairs and through two heavy doors to my office, and finally sit down.

Other than the eating breakfast and driving, I’m doing all of this while on crutches.

Needless to say, I was aching by the time I got to work and crying for my mommy by 1 p.m. because I’d not taken the narcotics due to fear of driving with my children while taking them. I’d thought Tylenol and ibuprofen would do the trick.

I am a sad, pathetic little rabbit.

Because my drugs were very low and my doctor appointment wasn’t scheduled until Thursday, I called the doctor office and requested a refill. Sadly, and I expected this, since this is a new doctor for me because I had to change healthcare plans with the new job, they didn’t know me from your average lying drug addicted hypochondriac so they wanted me to come in before they determined I could have more drugs.

I picked up the kids, hauled it out to my hubby’s work, dropped them off with him, then went to the doctor’s office. I met with a wonderful doctor who noticed right away that I was not the afore mentioned psycho and was in fact a few moments away from passing out from the pain. She refilled my prescription and sent in a request to the orthopedic staff to review my file with any advice for me. Then they gave me a flu shot since I was already there and it was covered.

Note to self: shot in arm when using crutches full time = stupid idea. Just what I needed, more aching pain.

By the time I got home I was hurting so bad I must have moved funny because I then pulled the last muscle in my hip that had been OK up to this point, my hamstring.

That was it. I could no longer really move at all on the crutches. I went to bed, after taking my drugs, and cried myself to sleep. But woke up shortly after and many times during the night because I hurt so bad.

Today I got up, got dressed very slowly and painfully, got half way through putting on makeup when I realized there was no way in hell I could do this again. I called into work “mostly dead,” made a desperate call to the local daycare place that luckily had an opening today, and kissed everyone goodbye as Hubby took the kids to the childcare place on his way to work. Bye bye $100 for childcare.

I’ve been on ice, ibuprofen, and oxycodone with an ace bandage around my leg now all day. I’m not feeling much better. I hope my mom can come help tomorrow to save me $100. I can’t imagine getting to work or even trying to care for the kids feeling like this.

Anyone ever have this kind of muscle injury before? Any advice other than what I’m doing? Anyone want to donate to the childcare fund?


Liz @M2M October 4, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I tried to kill my back last year. I was *literally* lying on the floor crying and making phone calls to Urgent Care asking if it was normal to be in this much pain after taking T3. My mom came out to help for a few days, but otherwise I was SOL. I didn’t even have daycare as an option! I hope you get some help–and relief!!–soon!!!!!
Liz @M2M recently posted: Think Before You Pink

Twitter: Heligirl
October 5, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Oh Liz, that’s terrible. It sounds so familiar. I feel lucky I had my crutches laying around from when I hurt my ankle a few years back. Hubby was able to get them for me so I could move around. I fear if I don’t do something to strengthen myself up, I’m going to do something to my back next and I think that would be the end of me.

Liz @M2M October 5, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Please, please don’t kill your back 🙁

Twitter: rachael1013
October 4, 2011 at 9:57 pm

I unfortunately do not have any advice, but I seriously hope it starts to heal up for you soon!
Rachael recently posted: 30 Days of Truth Day 29: One Day Soon

Twitter: Heligirl
October 5, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Thanks Rachael! That means a lot.

Twitter: audcole
October 5, 2011 at 6:53 am

I don’t have any advice either, but I’ll send you plenty of happy, healing thoughts. You feel better already, right? 🙂 Also, I’ll stop complaining about the very minor fall I took last week, because clearly I got off easy.
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Twitter: Heligirl
October 5, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Thanks my friend. That means a lot. With so many wonderful people sending healing thoughts my way, I’m bound to feel better soon. Thanks again.

Seana October 5, 2011 at 9:52 am

Have you thought about seeing a chiroprator or massage therapist? You would most likely need a referral from your doc for insurance to cover (hopefully just a co-pay) – I have found when my back goes out the chiro is amazing (Dr. Harold Rasmussen in WS junction) and my massage therapist works miracles (Jen Barth, Meangirls Massage in Burien). That along with 800 mg. ibuprofen works for me. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!

Twitter: Heligirl
October 5, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Thanks again Seana. I’m looking forward to looking up your massage therapist if my new insurance covers it. I’ve been told to wait a couple of weeks before massage therapy but then I’m diving in!

Vanilla Bean Crafts
Twitter: VanillaBeanG
October 5, 2011 at 5:11 pm

have you tried the chiropractor? I hurt my hip last year trying to be all skinny and work out! LOL! It took a few months of going every week and doing exercizes he prescribed and then I got better! Hoping something works for you soon! Nothings worse than being out of commission when you have little ones!

Twitter: Heligirl
October 5, 2011 at 7:41 pm

I’ve not tried one. I have such different bones and muscle development because of the birth defects in my hips and feet that I’ve always shied away from chiropractors for fear that they might make something worse inadvertently. My body isn’t like most others. I’m definitely going to look into the exercises though. Thanks!

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